Hastiest Handiwork
Climate-change worrying, badly crafted fiction, odd things about The Office, and other non-important creations by Mike V.

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From the Desk of the Editor

a new rambling post about music and being old/getting old/dying old whatever. a new podcast episode equally as puzzling as the first one. another vague bloggy update thing.

i'm settling into some regular routines of content creation finally. would like to increase my output to include some weekly things but for the next few weeks i'm okay with the amount of work i'm putting out across the various webterzones i post on.

OCTOBER 31ST, 2019

OCTOBER 30TH, 2019
i have pink eye, somehow. i don't even eat ass.

i've been writing lots of weird stuff on reddit and tumblr (which i never really used before, and am only now getting into, years and years too late.) i still like and love neocities for the DIY aspect and i will continue to use it as my main longer-ish writing and assorted projects platform.

but if you'd like to check out daily writing/stuff i make, check them out here:

i'll add these links to my about or something at some point.

OCTOBER 28TH, 2019
have you ever been stuck in a nap trap? you know, when you're cold or you're tired or you're bored or you just don't have it in you to exist for like an hour or you ate too much cereal and your body is trying to shut itself down so it can process all that garbage, or you just ran 20+ miles a few hours ago or you're really good at lucid dreaming and just feel like going for a flyover in your dreamscape, or you don't feel like brushing your teeth but you know you should or you are waiting for your new masterpiece youtube video to upload, or you just want a nap, so you go to your bed and get under the covers and get your nap going, even set an alarm for like an hour from now, but then over the next three or four hours you keep zoning in & out of consciousness and keep turning off the alarm and changing the time for it to go off to further out and your normal cognitive capabilities are only operating at like 10% and there's this tiny, tiny voice in the back of your head saying "wake up, you idiot" but the other 90% of your brain has been overrun by lizardness and that 90% is like "nah lol nap time" and then finally you manage to get out of bed and you feel groggy for like six hours and you aren't sure if stuff you did this morning was actually this morning or it was yesterday and your entire sense of time is thrown off but at least you're alive and you should go drink some water and outline some writing stuff because your story isn't done yet, ol' chap and no one wants to hear your garbage yet but maybe one day they will so start jotting down ideas, have you ever had that happen?

me neither.

OCTOBER 27TH, 2019
killed the site.
now i've brought it back.
here to stay, bois.

bought a bike today. haven't had a bike since i was 15. got really stoked test riding it at the shop and basically just said "fuck it, let's go." ideally i'll allow it to further my hip(ster)pie status and just bike everywhere feasible now instead of driving. and maybe instead of running 50 miles a week, i'll run 30 and bike 30 or something like that.

this entry feels way more bloggy than i'd like it to.

i think it's pretty funny that the Global Climate Strike is today, and the Area 51 "raid" is also today. i'm not a big conspiracy theory dude but it wouldn't shock me if the A51 thing was intentionally created to distract from the Climate Strike.

apparently the deleted scenes from Event Horizon were improperly stored in a Transylvanian salt mine (not joking) and we won't get the full, 120 minute director's cut of the film that at one time existed. That's uhh...that's okay with me. Growing up with an aunt and uncle who both loved horror films, I had lots of hand-me-down VHS tapes of all things horror. I can say without exception it was my favorite movie genre, and nothing really "got" me. I knew it was all fake. I liked Freddy Krueger.

Event Horizon done right fucked all that mess up. The film was released in '97, so I probably saw it in '98 or '99 which would put me at no older than 12 when I saw it. I don't remember much of the movie other than the guy from Jurassic Park becomes a fucking demon and people die. For whatever reason, when I watched the movie the concept of mortality first clicked into my brain, and brought about an intense existential dread in me that has never left (yay!) I legit just like sat there crying and hyperventilating in front of the TV in my childhood home living room. I stopped watching horror movies for a long time after that. Still haven't seen Event Horizon again to this day. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Gonna die either way, ya know?
in a move that scientists are calling "pretty stupid," i am redownloading fallout: new vegas and fallout 4 as i write this, so that i can do a science/melee playthrough and be a cyber ninja and oh god my life has no meaning what is this

running in shorts gives your legs a farmers tan. here's the difference of my exposed leg and my covered leg as derived from a picture i took of my leg and created an average color value of my tan/no tan leg portions.

aka from my ankle to my knee cap i'm looking tan af

the most imaginative part of a dnd campaign in 2019 is the belief that you and three or four friends will all meet in person on an agreed upon date and not just flake out on short notice with a weak excuse or retroactively flake out by ignoring everyone's calls/texts for a few hours during the agreed meeting time, and then finally say something vague like "oh man my phone died and i was stuck overnight in philly" to offer reasoning for the shittiness.

my tiefling warlock is cool, though.
just got this spyshot a friend took as i ran by him this morning. i love how much of a goober i look like in this. this is my favorite thing for today.

running to the point of total physical exhaustion and then going home and watching attitude-era WWE(F) clips on youtube and crying from the nostalgia rush and dehyrdration is a big mood.

It's 6:28am do YOU know where your monstera deliciosa is??!

AUGUST 31ST, 2019
The 7 Types of Friends You Have:

1. Friends you talk to regularly and see often.
2. Friends you talk to regularly and see somewhat often.
3. Friends you talk to somewhat often and see somewhat often.
4. Friends you talk to somewhat often and only see once in a while.
5. Friends you talk to once in a while and only see once in a while.
6. Friends you text with week-long gaps between messages that mostly consist of "ugh, I know! We DEF need to hang out soon!" but then neither of you take any concrete steps towards arranging a date/time to hang out.
7. Not Friends.

AUGUST 28TH, 2019
When the song New York by St. Vincent came out a few years ago, I really liked it. I obsessed over it. I had it on loop for days. Something about it just seemed so genuine, so meaningful. There was a honesty about it. I Googled something to the effect "What does the song New York by St. Vincent mean" because I am an old person who searches full questions in Google.

Some results said it was about her break up with Cara Delevingne. I also obtained the knowledge that St. Vincent was now dating Kristen Stewart. For whatever reason, when my brain read "Kristen Stewart" it replaced it with "Kristen Wiig" and replaced Kristen Wiig with Cara Delevingne. So I assumed St. Vincent and Kristen Wiig had this amazing love story. My brain put together this elaborate timeline of them meeting; surely it happened when St. Vincent was the musical guest on SNL from a few years ago. They might've chatted between sketches or at the after party. Exchanged numbers, or emails, or handles. Things progressed, things led to more things. A musical powerhouse and SNL star comedian formed to create an unlikely but inspiring indie power couple. Wandering around NYC. I was hooked on this new narrative that my brain just fabricated from nothingness; from some weird auto-correct it did when reading something haphazardly.

I re-read the info, realized my mistake, and found out loads of info about the actual relationship of Kristen Stewart and St. Vincent. It doesn't matter, and neither do I.

AUGUST 27TH, 2019
this desk is messy dude, the fuck